Fog

I just started posting again. Yesterday was my first post on broken since January, the Inauguration in fact. I haven't been around, mentally anyway. I've been in that dark place people talk about all the time, with their therapists anyway. I have been talking to no one but the other voices in my head (for lack of better words) which obviously wasn't all that productive. I just kept going in circles and relying on emotions that were far too screwed up to be reliable.

I'm going to get a pet. Idk fish or something that I can take care of. When grapegum was all wonky, I gave her a cat. I'm pretty sure that cat wants to kill me though, or at least scratch out my ankles haha.

I'd been feeling stiff all over, sore all over, hollow on the inside. I sometimes think that I had to get there to get to wherever I'm going to end up. It kind of hurts to type right now which is really messed up. I used to be able to type at ridiculous speeds, furiously finishing my PM turnover reports so I could catch the last bus back home. People used to be in awe at how fast I had typed but now my fingers are cramping and this is nothing compared to then. Hopefully I get my speed back.

I need to get moving. Giant said that the pain from exercising is the weakness leaking out. He makes me laugh but sometimes I think he's not sure how to encourage me from not jumping over the ledge headfirst. He tries at least.