So much for productivity...

I woke up this morning to Giant getting ready for work. Apparently frakking up again, he walked out with a grim look on his face and tears in my eyes. I couldn't get back to sleep so I reset my previous alarm for an hour later. After some wonderful dreams of things crawling out from under my bed, I woke up an hour and a half AFTER my alarm was supposed to wake me up. The best part of waking up? At least it was still before 11:30am.

I still need to go grocery shopping and to the mall for girly things. Need to shower, clean my room, do a load of laundry and sweet merciful heaven I really need to upload all those pics off my camera. Oh yes, and my not clearing my pics off the memory caused Giant to miss some really crucial moments at the last RU home game. Yay me! Yay for procrastination! He tripped on my laundry basket this morning causing him to bang into the corner of my desk. I came back from the bathroom asking how he was because I heard the noise. He told me I should really move my stuff out of the way. Automatic response, I didn't put the basket there. Yay for defense mechanism! Way to make him more annoyed at me... Forget about being on time for the train. Oh right, no driver's license. I'm an asshole. Hopefully he's cooled off at work but the fact he hasn't even texted hints he may not have. Either way, I'm too chickenshit to text anyhow so I guess we're comm silent for the day.

I love how he can make me really believe in myself and he can also make me feel like a complete doucher. Love is funny that way, such control. I'm not sure what those love stories are spouting about, the ones with the butterflies, sparkly kisses and happily ever afters. It could just be my mood right now, but while love could be those things it's also messy, full of mistakes and just damn I f*cked up and now feel dread.

I forgot, I was supposed to do Christmas decor already. At the very least my father has actually spent his time putting up lights outside the house. Although I have no lights in my room as of yet. And probably won't again by the pace I'm moving. Do I even have money for this shit?

Fuck.