Restless @sshole

Apparently I act like my opinion counts more, I earned myself a you're an assh0le from Giant. So instead of making it worse, I stayed downstairs on the computer until I couldn't keep my eyes open. And now that I'm in my room, he's slumbering away wrapped up in the comforter & I'm too cold to go to sleep. I tried to stretch my legs out earlier & got nothing but a cramp for my troubles. I think I was right to stay downstairs, I always make things worse when I open my mouth. I try to explain it better or defend myself, but the way his face falls or that expression he makes... Lord, help me I want to either start a fight or blow my head off because that face just screams you're a screw up & grow the f up. I mean over Pink of all people. I said I don't read interviews of musicians because they almost always come off bad but he kept saying she's a giant doucher & I didn't want him to elaborate. So I said it again & somehow I came off as my opinion counts more. Giant shuts down, I'm suddenly feeling back into a corner & hello no talking. Unawesome, can't even get along for 5 fucking minutes.

So I hopped on little Sam here hoping I'd get tired again. I keep expecting blogger to autocorrect/complete the words I'm typing but iPhone this is not. I'm most likely forever ruined from owning another phone. I was just youtube-ing it up with some C/A videos and now I'm all pissy again. Idk why the hell I went with them but everything I've 'shipped has gone to sh!t anyway... But crap if Joss Whedon frakked that ish up! I can't even watch sometimes I get riled up. And I know it's just a TV show and I'm sure Giant is doing some head shaking even while he's sleeping but that show was good...

I've been accused of not placing the right amount of importance or priority on things. Like TV shows I'd get worked up over but not the apparent disability of my family to grow up. And I get that some people have had harder lives or real-er lives & that I seem ridiculous to said people...but it upsets me when that gets pointed out. Why are you upset over a TV show when there's suffering going on? I have learned helplessness or self preservation or whatever label there is out there that basically explains this is my tiny bubble in the world, sometimes I just can't help the bad things going on out there & please just let me enjoy this *breathe* condition. I'm sure selfish is another one of those colorful adjectives regarding my behavior. And I'm a little peeved right now, and the New Year brought me nothing but the red tide, but so frakking what? Life is harsh but why the hell are my little idiosyncrasies pointed out? Do I really have to feel guilty for enjoying something trivial? I could die tomorrow and it won't matter a damn bit anyhow what the f I've enjoyed or what lost cause was closest to my heart.

Ugh.