Times Square

If it weren't for the teeny fact that I work around Times Sq, I'd avoid it like the plague tomorrow. However, I am on the schedule for tomorrow so I must go to work. I'm hoping the overnight doesn't call out because that'll just be complete sh!t on his part and that he shows up early. I could possibly catch the train back home and actually be home when it hits midnight. Either which way it's just another day right?

2009 sucked @ss, let's face it. I was unemployed for 10.5 months of it, spiraling into a depression involving my self worth and confidence in my intelligence and ability to contribute to the human race. Considering I hadn't actually quite pulled myself out of my mother passing away depression, it's a frakkin wonder I didn't start randomly stabbing myself just to feel something else. Whoever said vanity was bad never had to use it to prevent a physical manifestation of the sad darkness infecting a person's mind. Honestly, don't think it's possible to dig one's heart out and stay conscious but God help me I had days I wanted to try with a knife. My relationship trudges on, struggles on, but miraculously lives on and I hope it does so until the day one of us dies. My family continues to be a microcosm of dysfunction, fraught with denial and an unbelievable stubbornness to compromise with reality or at least learn from it. On the bright side, my one remaining parent continues to believe in his children, even though he still sees and treats us as such... Hmm... Everyone loses with her passing and for the rest of time there will be no one else quite like her.

Do not misunderstand, there were some bright points to 2009. Hanging out with my father and learning about his life is certainly rewarding. I get to know my father some. I could also point out that I wouldn't have gotten this chance if my mother was still alive because my father pretty much kept to himself, believing we would misunderstand him and choosing instead to keep his mouth shut. He's a watcher/character studier more than anything, and if you needed the low down on someone he'd be the one to ask. I went to a few concerts with my sisters which were always fun. I got to attend Devils games since I wasn't working nights and got to watch all Yankees season. And yeah the Yankees rule haha! And I work in a place that is hella less stressful than the cancermount but being colored by past experiences, I may never trust another work place again. Plus the squicky feeling I'll always get that I accepted a job unknowingly as someone's replacement. Not for nothing, the kid was ickier than a dried used condom stuck to the bottom of your shoe after a night of binge drinking, but still... being fired sucks and knowing you "trained" your own replacement's gotta burn. Hopefully he learns from it and that's the most I can say about that.

I neither have any useful advice for the coming year nor resolutions to attempt to follow. Seriously agree with Yoda here regarding resolutions: do or do not, there is no try. Quitting smoking was the one goal I stuck to so the rest hopefully just falls in place in due time with a little bit of effort and conscious awareness on my part to do better. To borrow from someone's facebook advice for the coming year, he had no other advice for people but "don't get dead." Simple no? LoL! I will say this again. Just be yourself...unless you suck.

Cheers to a healthy and prosperous new year! Jeers to the things that keep us from being better individuals. Onward to the next decade! Remember when we thought the whole world would collapse in 2000?! Gosh we were all so lame! Ahh memories... :) Happy New Year!!

So much for productivity...

I woke up this morning to Giant getting ready for work. Apparently frakking up again, he walked out with a grim look on his face and tears in my eyes. I couldn't get back to sleep so I reset my previous alarm for an hour later. After some wonderful dreams of things crawling out from under my bed, I woke up an hour and a half AFTER my alarm was supposed to wake me up. The best part of waking up? At least it was still before 11:30am.

I still need to go grocery shopping and to the mall for girly things. Need to shower, clean my room, do a load of laundry and sweet merciful heaven I really need to upload all those pics off my camera. Oh yes, and my not clearing my pics off the memory caused Giant to miss some really crucial moments at the last RU home game. Yay me! Yay for procrastination! He tripped on my laundry basket this morning causing him to bang into the corner of my desk. I came back from the bathroom asking how he was because I heard the noise. He told me I should really move my stuff out of the way. Automatic response, I didn't put the basket there. Yay for defense mechanism! Way to make him more annoyed at me... Forget about being on time for the train. Oh right, no driver's license. I'm an asshole. Hopefully he's cooled off at work but the fact he hasn't even texted hints he may not have. Either way, I'm too chickenshit to text anyhow so I guess we're comm silent for the day.

I love how he can make me really believe in myself and he can also make me feel like a complete doucher. Love is funny that way, such control. I'm not sure what those love stories are spouting about, the ones with the butterflies, sparkly kisses and happily ever afters. It could just be my mood right now, but while love could be those things it's also messy, full of mistakes and just damn I f*cked up and now feel dread.

I forgot, I was supposed to do Christmas decor already. At the very least my father has actually spent his time putting up lights outside the house. Although I have no lights in my room as of yet. And probably won't again by the pace I'm moving. Do I even have money for this shit?

Fuck.

'tis the season...

...and all that jazz. I got first dibs this year, got myself a netbook. the Samsung N130 with Windows 7 Starter. So far so good however, I'm beginning to think everyone is right about upgrading the ram to 2gb and making the whole experience more pleasant. Videos run fine enough if a bit stuttery at times but the quality on youtube doesn't look that hot, although to be fair I've played one video just to see. This thing is GREAT! I'm on my bed right now typing away and it weighs practically nothing. I don't however like that the media slot doesn't accept memory stick pros so if I were say travelling and taking pictures, I'd have to bring the usb media card reader I own. But that's pretty trivial. The keys are comfortable and have softened edges. I have small hands so the keyboard feels ok. Also pretty sure this keyboard is the same size as the one at work.

Speaking of work, going ok so far. I'm trying not to get too attached or invested at the whole thing. Sure the people are nice and some of them are funny. And man I was so glad to order from Chicken Bar again. I don't miss Patzeria since now they're overcharging. Anyhoot... been there almost 2 months. I like that there's no drama and since it's like running a tiny village everyone pitches in when things need to get done. I have yet to use my concierge powers, free meals does sounds appealing.

f*ck I just got hit with mad sleepy...

Ten Thirteen

"I made this!" For just about 9 years I heard that kid at least once a
week. If coincidences are just coincidences, why do they feel so
contrived? The last ten thirteen if any remembrance was when the red
iPod 2nd gen nanos were released, on a Friday no less. Ordered it that
day and was in my hands Monday morning.

So Mulder and Scully always had my back. I hope nothing goes wrong.
It's terrible how wary I've become of just going to a job. Today is my
first day at the new property, orientation mostly. Paperwork, tour of
the facilities and getting acclimated to their systems. This should be
educational and interesting. I'll bring a notebook!

And without rehashing everything, changes need to be made. Fight 'em
til you can't.

"just be yourself... unless you suck."
Sent from my iPhone.

good morning

horrified, i'm still awake. it's 0519 hours. seriously frakked up.

speaking of frakked, i really really shouldn't start youtube-ing stuff like bsg starbuck apollo or svu or olivia elliot or angel cordy or really the culprit here was starting YT-ing stargate clips. i just never finished watching that series and atlantis fizzled out for me due to work and sgu seems to be good so far. hope it sticks around for a bit. i didn't really plan on watching shows this coming season but as it stands, svu is on the list. fringe is back for season 2 and of course flash forward on abc. i just cannot get into dollhouse and warehouse 13 i'll watch in passing just because. then there's the good old investigative standby of ncis though i doubt the ncis:la will last. everything i've ever 'shipped has gone to sh*t. the only one with marginal success was mulder and scully but i couldn't even bring myself to watch the second movie to hazard any kind of guess as to how they are "now." i'm a purist really, i prefer the older season eps with the freaks. i told dawn about e/o will end up both dead. heroes death or just wrong place at wrong time. lame.

oh hi, real life here. go to bed. amy called me this afternoon, told me mel got laid off. it's hard to hear billie joe sing all her doubts were someone else's point of view. hiiii, i'm out of unemployment checks. wonderful.

seriously. deliriously. deliciously. definitely. sleepy.

1 year

It's been a year since I've worked at the cancermount. I'm not sure why I'm mentioning it but my fingers were itchy to type and I looked at the date. It seems like it wasn't even that long ago but now it's a lifetime ago. It was a long day too, 14 hours I was there.

I sent out like 30 resumes these past 2 weeks and have been on 5 interviews. None of them called back for a second interview. Although one said not until tomorrow earliest but the other one I should probably call. Regardless, I'm not hanging on my hopes on one particular place. I want to go back to school. But I want a job that still makes an impact and something that I can enjoy.

I should go back to sending out resumes. Tomorrow, ChasingAmy and I are going to a job fair/open call in midtown. I'm supposed to be compiling a list of nearby hotels so we can hit those places up too. I'm horribly sleepy and I'm going to let my hair down. Ponytail is giving me a headache. SVU marathon on today, slowing down my progress. Plus these cramps. Please uterus, work with me here.

Lastly, from remembered flashes of my dream last night. Johnny Damon took my iPhone then Benson & Stabler came down to question and investigate. Woke up with iPhone in hand ringing for the alarm. HAHAHA no wonder I slept so long.

Early

It's too early to be discussing family dynamics with my father. I get it he's laid back, he let's ish slide, he generally keeps quiet even when he shouldn't simply he doesn't care for the drama. I get it. No drama.

He keeps telling me that he can't parent us because we grew up here, because we don't understand what he's saying. So he simply lets us be. However, my point of contention is when he asks me to help him police my sisters it's simply a lose lose situation for me. First of all, somewhere along the way my *younger* sisters have decided I'm some sort of moronic asshole who's opinion doesn't really count. Let's discount the fact I held more jobs at Rutgers, volunteered as well, double majored and graduated with a pretty darn good GPA. In four years and a membership in Golden Key, thank you. High school, got my butt into an exclusive county program that more or less guaranteed their butts in there because I was already in it. C'mon! I beat out 272 kids for one spot in a class of 28 kids. Then a year in social work then 4.5 years working in midtown. I'm not an expert at alot of things but I'm hardly inexperienced. Yet they talk to me like I'm an idiot. So now I'm the idiot who's trying to tell them something and I'm the idiot who's not their parent. Basically I end up the idiot on their ish-list.

I told him we need parenting. How can Tim tell Stephanie that she's not allowed to talk to Juju that way but she turns around and does the exact thing to him? You can't expect a kid to do as I say not as I do bs. She's 6! It's pretty much monkey see, monkey do. Generally I try not to start conversations of any inflammatory nature to either of them because I get the barked out response despite the fact I've gotten good at using my inside voice. But F me when they talk like that to me. Some people really do need a reality check via punch in the head. And by inflammatory everything except puppies, kittens, and Ramen [because who the fuck doesn't like Ramen?]. About the parenting, he brings up my mother again and about how she knew that he was going to be the quiet one. I don't think he gets the whole step up to the plate talk because he keeps insisting that's how he is. I hope he doesn't expect change. Or improvement. Because without any proper communication we're pretty much fucked.

And reason 1 million it sucks my mother is dead. This fucking bs. It's hysterical because if I somehow get into my head that I really really really want to talk to her, I'd go fucking hang myself they wouldn't even see it coming because nobody talks about the important shit. Well now I've gone and said it.

Hitting the Pavement

Yesterday, I had an interview at a property a short walk away from Penn Sta in NYC. Herald Square, if I weren't overly annoyed by the thousands of tourists I had to walk through just to get to my bank ATM [to avoid the service fee] I guess it's fine. I had forgotten Times Square was all closed off on Broadway and now there are just tons of people enjoying the atmosphere there. TKTS is also finished, with a huge staircase as a roof so people are sitting there eating lunch or just people watching. And there's a huge American Eagle being constructed on the corner of 46th across the Marquis that used to have that terrible diner with the overpriced tiny orange juice. I can't remember the name for crap. Anyhoot, the interview went well I think. Hopefully they'll call me back for a second interview. And if they don't, I'm not above calling them back and asking WTF.

After that, ChasingAmy and I hit the pavement. And hit it hard we did. I think we went by 16 hotels, maybe 18? I lost count. Next time, we decided we'd stop after each hotel and make notes and organize the business cards. I think it was productive. We started on 32nd and had walked up to 56th, giving our cover letters and resumes. A few places told us to apply online but they did give us business cards. I'll have to follow up on that today. On the plus side, already got one call back and my interview is this Thursday. So today's my day off from the city. I'll be at the job fair at Macy's tomorrow then downtown to hit the hotels there. Still gotta make our list from that. I think she's got 5 on the list but I want to see if they're near some other hotels I want to check out. Friday hopefully I can relax too but at the same time hopefully the interview from yesterday calls me back for a 2nd interview. We stopped at a club too, hoping we'd run into an old f&b manager we worked with. It was good seeing him since I had forgotten what it was like to speak with another capable manager who wasn't covered in office politics and you're general stinky bullsh*t personality. It was good to shoot the breeze & it was actually nice enough during that part of the day to just do that. He also took our resumes; he said he knows people still in the industry and he'll check it out. He also offered free lunch next time we're in the city. God, there were actually good times at the cancermount ages ago.

I was thinking, maybe I should just apply for front office clerk jobs. Or at least make it clearer that while I have managerial experience I'm not above taking a lower position. It'll be especially necessary if I want to go back to school. My work ethic was borderline obsessive because I just had to make sure things will be ok after I left. If it meant checking and rechecking and being clear on instructions repeatedly then I did which more or less resulted in 10-12 hour work days. And look at what happened in the end. Anyway, if I just have a regular "line staff" [the most hated phrase other managers used to refer to the clerks/bellmen/pbx/res agents etc which I took offense too because FUCK didn't we all start there?!? I worked with some real assholes I tell you what.] ... line staff, I'd have time to go back to school. I've been watching X-Files again and I'd forgotten what used to drive me. Man I used to want being a leo so bad. It'd burn inside. I'd read about the FBI and although I was on the fence about the whole being shipped off to bumblefuck, middle of USA for the first decade until I can get my choice location turned me off, I still wanted it. And then nothing, I forgot all about it. Borderline obsessive might have been an understatement. Maybe I can still make it to NCIS.

Then again, I'd love nothing more than to be a detective. Don't have to be a vampire though. Points for who I'm referring too.

Music: Before the Lobotomy by Green Day.

Interviews

Well.... not sure what to think of today's interview. I went to Red Bank today and I found the place easily enough, arriving there 20 minutes ahead of my appointment. The interview was long and she had many scenario questions and what my thoughts were during my previous job. Very interesting indeed, but difficult as it's been almost a year since I thought of that place. I'm not going into much detail but that last job was like escaping an abusive relationship; you know it's bad for you, it's hard to leave and when you're out on the curb you want to go crawling back. It was F'd up. The HR lady was very nice and another manager sat in for the interview, which later on I found out is probably the owner's son if not the owner himself. He was a bit young now that I think about it. He reminded me of one of the BK guys which lead to dinner at BK, where I felt all sick and woozy. ANYHOOT... I digress. They both explained what the property was about and that the current person holding the position I applied for isn't happy and not working out so they're kind of hiring behind her back. Aside from the glaring end of the other spectrum between this property and where I "grew up" in the industry, that bit didn't sit well with me at all. It was actually 2 properties and the position is a shared management position. Which means, if I end up there I'd be going back and forth between 2 places. No big I guess. The cancermount had alot more rooms but not conference space. One of their challenges is boosting corporate accounts. And the fd turnover is at industry standard.

The other property also contacted me this afternoon. Actually I got blindsided by a phone interview. I get it though, no one gets their time wasted with a face to face interview if the candidate doesn't feel right. Plus the candidate never has to waste moolah with travelling. He asked about the cancermount too and my reason for leaving. I don't think I sounded bitter. I'm worried actually, that the douche of ops will ruin any chances I have with other properties. He's a manipulative used up b*tch and I really really just want to get over and past this. Honestly, you've done your piece now give me peace! A third place also called today, another HR lady [she sounds confident as opposed to Lisa from today who sounded harried on the phone], I'm really happy this one called. And as soon as I get past the flash intro page, I can get my read on about the property. I kind of hope to get that one since it's a larger property and I'm used to it. But the one by Grand Central wouldn't be too shabby either, not even 200 rooms and boutique to boot. Actually the one right on 42nd would be perfect. But they haven't called.

Man, I miss The X-Files.

Nervous?

I have to take the train in 3 hours to Red Bank for an interview. 1/2 train ride, 10 minute walk to this particular HR. I feel like I should be nervous but right now, not so much. Probably on the train ride I will.

Tried on my clothes last night, they fit tighter than last time. And I wish it weren't fall so I'd be okay wearing a skirt suit but I doubt I can get any pant suits on at the moment. I should probably try out that black one I own. I might feel better about that. Or you know, be sensible and check the bloody weather.

I still have to call the other place and try to arrange an interview. And print my resume out for crying out loud.

I'm getting off, I'm getting anxious.

62nd post

62 twists up my insides. Damn, stupid iPhone's playing that Phil Collins song from Tarzan.

It's September already and here I am still woefully unemployed. Honestly, I'm going to give it another month before I either throw myself in the river or go with the less glamorous plan B. B consisting of just getting a retail job [Naz says Macy's so she can partake in the discount] and go back to school. Back to school for what, I'm not sure. Should I take online courses for investigation? Giant says I could get a job in security in the city however, he gripes about the office politics and it just seems so atrocious that I'd only survive if I were some sort of hardcore rule follower or dry snitch. I did entertain the notion of being a rat, for a good minute.

Some part of me would be ecstatic to not be bound to a solid work schedule, requests for days off more or less given irregardless of seniority or holiday season. Man... that hotel beat the crap out of me and maybe I just pushed myself to give more than I had but I just couldn't do any less than I did. The one difference about being unemployed this time is I'm not nursing a broken heart. So that's a score...however everything else sucks as I remembered it. The lack of activities is what really kills. And it's not the betrayed feeling that keeps me up at night, it's all those missed opportunities. Like quitting on my own terms. Or going to that other hotel that I interviewed at. Or, God I'm so sorry about this, following my course of study and doing something in law enforcement. Instead I'm great at hotel wheeling and dealing and handling the staff. I will pat myself in the back for my earned promotion and still question why having a work ethic and being truthful makes a person unpopular with someone up high. Just boggles my mind.

*sigh*

So... what should I go to school for? My father did magazine layouts and was a photographer, a lifetime ago. My mother was a hairdresser, seamstress, and all around good mother/homemaker. And what seems like a different layer of me that I shed, I used to write really well. How did I become so...boring? I'm not even sure that's the right word. I've lost pride or is it confidence in alot of things I was once capable of. How do I get that ish back?

I picked up the flat belly diet book. I'm supposed to grocery shop for it tomorrow, already I'm not looking forward to it since we're not allowed coffee. And I picked up a glossy but informative mag/book about digital photography. It's a $400 camera, I shouldn't just sit on my shelf. Just have to keep choppin', keep pushing, and even if I feel anxiety creep in just frakkin accept it and keep moving.

Just be yourself...unless you suck.

Laundry

Laundry you say? Yes, laundry at 3am. I love my big baby but I wasn't doing anything all day except watch him work on my laptop so that I could be a productive human being again. I really wish either one of us would've remembered that his laundry needed to be done. Furthermore, this would be a lot easier if I didn't have a glaring knotty headache behind my right eye. Seriously, this ish is impervious to pain medication. Or copious amounts of water.

Last night, I stayed awake because MadRatter was out drinking in the RU Bruns. The drunken texts started to come in around 1am, 1/2 hr later she was looking for a ride home. 2:30am, we were on our way down to pick up her drunk ass. Now a few things annoy me there, part my failure to not have a valid license basically leaves me to be navigator most of the time. Aside from the not being able to get places BS, it's a huge F'in annoyance. I really wanted to sleep. I don't get enough as it is and I hate staying up for no good reason. I really didn't want to see my old boozing grounds, the glory days so to speak when responsibility extended only as far as FAFSA deadlines. Seeing all those "kids" out and about drinking and being disorderly just brought back all those times I was just as if not more wasted than the whole lot of them. I've only had one night where there was a chunk of time missing because I was that drunk. Nothing happened, autopilot/self-preservation sent me back to my house to sleep it off. No joke, my housemate big Daddy SP had to open the door because I couldn't even shove the key into the lock. I promptly threw up on the porch and carried buckets of water from the bathroom to wash it off too. I miss those days, good times and I'm glad I took advantage of it while I was there. Physically speaking, I am quite certain I can't ever drink until 2am, barf my guts out, then roll out of bed at 7:30am to shower and be at work by 8:15am. I don't even know how I pulled it off or how many times I'd done it. Ridiculous, but that's what being 21 meant. I never once tried to get served before I was 21. I figured I was going to do many stupid things while intoxicated and there was no reason to rush into them, publicly anyway. HAHAHA.

I'd look for a job right now however, my brain isn't cooperating. I HOPE my aunt can actually help me and it's not all lip service. I need a job then it's career.

Cannot wait to hook up with Bibs on Tuesday, I miss that sister from another mister. We have many things to catch up on!

European newspapers

25 random things

1. I am the middle child, 2 older brothers, 2 younger sisters.
2. I am sort of afraid of the dark. I sleep with the light on in my closet because I think something will come out of there.
3. Funnily enough, I'm a night person. I frequently see 3 or 4am.
4. I don't believe in welcome mats because you might inadvertently invite a vampire in. Or an escaped psychopath.
5. When I was younger, I used to draw an octopus on the margins of my books. His name was Pogita. Karla & Carlos used to draw them too.
6. I didn't like learning to read. My school had older kids [3rd or 5th graders] sit with us to help us sound out words & I felt she should just read to me.
7. I've eaten balut. Also, dirt, flowers, and ants.
8. My teddy bear's name is Chi Chi. He has a chocolate sauce stain on his butt; it had been my young quest to make him more realistic.
9. At age 9, I asked my mother why we weren't circus performers. I thought it was a pre-requisite to being Batman's sidekick.
10. I have an obnoxious amount of handbags. This encourages my thoughts on downsizing my material possessions.
11. I used to be fluent Italian, even took an Italian Cinema class. I dropped that course of study because I was already a double major. Sadly the old saying of if you don't use it, you lose it totally applies here. I can't even read my old notes.
12. What I went to school for has nothing to do with what I've been doing for the past several years. Also, what I went to school for was an interest embedded since I was 9. It was something shiny that caught my eye.
13. I am clumsy as hell.
14. I work well under pressure and crisis situations. Unless it directly affects me then I'm more of the frozen, oh crap variety. I'm not sure how I can improve that without putting myself in bad situations.
15. I quit smoking, so far so good.
16. I dislike liars. Your word is your honor and what good is life without honor?
17. My favorite color is red.
18. We used to have little pet lizards and I detested feeding them crickets. Mainly because the care book said we should cut off the back jumping legs of the crickets so that they won't attack the sleeping lizards.
19. I would like to run my own business someday.
20. I occasionally get bummed that teleportation is highly improbably because of the Heisenberg principle.
21. I like attending sporting events with family, mainly because it's better than watching it on the couch. Plus food eaten at arenas & stadiums are calorie free. haha
22. The last thing I split with my mother was a strawberry glazed Dunkin' Donut. We stop for DD on our way to the cemetery most of the time. I generally don't eat the strawberry glazed donut.
23. My family is populated by comedians. They're even funnier in tagalog.
24. I can be seriously un-motivated if I don't monitor myself. That was a nice way of saying "lazy."
25. I told my sister this should be a list of 25 people I'd like to see naked.

--
"Just be yourself...unless you suck." - Joss is boss

Fwd: Steph's brain

Yup, uploading/blogging an email sent by Tim with our 6 yr old niece's view of how her brain works. This is a kid who correctly uses larger words like "replica" but claims that she doesn't really know half the words she's talking about. 

She's like a little insane drunk person.

Begin forwarded message:

Date: August 17, 2009 16:36:42 EDT

She was showing me her finger skit "videos" and I asked her "where do you come up with this stuff?"  Originally she said there were 4 parts and then she changed it to 5:

 

1. good comedy shows for the finger videos

2. all the things I can see

3. games for when my brain gets bored

4. all my love for you guys

5. partytime! if you click on it everyone in my brain is having a good time

 

After that I said, "wow you have a good brain!"

She said, using both pointer fingers to indicate her temples, "it's TECHNOLOGY"

--
*
*
*


http://www.savetibet.org/
http://www.savedarfur.org/
http://www.hungersite.com/
http://www.studentsforafreetibet.org/
http://www.children.org

"i want adventure in the great wide somewhere"

56th post

I used to volunteer at Rutgers, a peer counseling organization called 56 Place and it was located on the 3rd floor of Bishop House with the round window looking out into the quad. I used to spend as much time as possible there, waiting for people to call and ask for help or just call and to not be lonely even for 5 minutes on a campus with thousands of people. Because that's the worse feeling, being alone in a crowd. 56 Place has been replaced by Scarlet Listeners, which is fine. They still have the same policies. I volunteered there for 3 years, whatever free time I had left that wasn't promised to classes or the 2 jobs that I had for 2 of those years. And I still managed to graduate in 4 years with 2 majors. I miss those better days. Simpler, more structured. If I wasn't such a candy ass, I'd have signed myself up for the military.

DMB said the future is no place to place your better days. Sometimes I can't help but wonder if the better days are in the past and I'm just hunkering down in the trenches for a fight for the rest of my life. Most of the time I'm fighting myself.

Well I msg'd ChasingAmy if she knew any good resume writers who can help me tailor for every specific thing I'm going to be applying to. I drank a ginormous amount of coffee in my 70's retro cup. And my father is downstairs pondering what we should make for dinner. I had wanted to write about what ifs but when I saw this would be my 56th post I got distracted. I have 6 tabs open, 4 are job related. I have to stop fighting myself. I'm not sure when I became so slow to get things done or not at all. I always got things done, even if it was the 11th hour it got done and most of the time, I did well.

I should've been volunteering this whole time. I wouldn't have been in my head so much. Then again, most of my motivation in life had been fueled by my desire to forget something so...

50 questions about me

Trini had this up on facebook and apparently she'd be interested in my answers but she didn't tag me so I blogged it instead. :o) Here goes the copy, paste, and insert my own answers.

If you've been tagged or you are reading this, you have the honor of copying all these goofy questions, writing your own response, and tagging 25 other victims. You have to tag me so really you just need 24 more people. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you - but not in a creepy stalker kind of way - more like the dedicated researcher kind of way.


1. What time did you get up this morning?
First 7:55am. Then realized it was raining and thunderous so after another hour, I crawled back under the covers and woke up 11:33am.

2. How do you like your steak?
medium well.

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
The Hangover

4. What is your favorite TV show?
On air, SVU. No longer, BSG.

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?
Depends on the time of year.

6. What did you have for breakfast?
a cup of chocolate soy milk.

7. Your favorite cuisine?
I can only pick one?

8. What foods do you dislike?
anything that overwhelms my taste buds and makes everything else taste like it afterwards.

9. Favorite Place to Eat?
the kitchen.

10. Favorite dressing?
blue cheese

11.What kind of vehicle do you drive?
I don't.

12. What are your favorite clothes?
Teva sandals, cotton shorts and a T-shirt with something funny printed on it.

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance?
anywhere in Italy

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full?
what kinda liquid we talkin here?

15. Where would you want to retire?
On a beach.

16. Favorite time of day?
early evening or early morning

17. Where were you born?
Philippines.

18. What is your favorite sport to watch?
we're the Devils, the DEVILS!!

19. Who do you think will not tag you back?
not relevant for this blog...

20. Person you expect to tag you back first?
see previous answer

21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this?
Socorro :-P --- I left her original answer in haha

22. Bird watcher?
umm no?

23. Are you a morning person or a night person?
either.

24. Do you have any pets?
there's Shimmy but since she's an unfriendly bitch, I was thinking of fish or a couple of frogs.

25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share?
still unemployed, not new or particularly exciting but I'll share.

26. What did you want to be when you were little?
part of the A-Team, MacGuyver's kid, Batman's sidekick, Superman's cousin, live on Sesame Street, and be the head of Voltron.

27. What is your best childhood memory?
our dog knew how to fetch when we got him, even though he was only a puppy.

28. Are you a cat or dog person?
either's fine with me

29. Are you married?
not yet

30. Always wear your seat belt?
yup, sure do

31. Been in a car accident?
nope, knock on wood.

32. Any pet peeves?
we don't have enough time or space and you don't have enough interest.

33. Favorite Pizza Toppings?
mushrooms and pineapples. not necessarily together though

34. Favorite Flower?
flowers remind me of funerals. unless it's the gumamela (hisbiscus) then it reminds me of bubbles so that's all good

35. Favorite ice cream?
anything with peanut butter, caramel or marshmallows

36. Favorite fast food restaurant?
BK, I like the fries.

37. How many times did you fail your driver's test?
none

38. From whom did you get your last email?
Greenpeace

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
Best Buy, because they have all those shiny new electronics XD

40. Do anything spontaneous lately?
I stubbed my toe at NY&Co and the frakker bled and my I broke out into a sweat.

41. Like your job?
First I hope to find a job soon. Second, I hope even more that I'll like the people there more as the last position I held did nothing for my belief that people at least *attempt* to do the right thing. Considering the industry, I should've known better that climbers are just that and scratching the surface gets you more surface. *shrug*

42. Broccoli?
Sure why not, you don't even need to put cheese on it.

43. What was your favorite vacation?
San Francisco

44. Last person you went out to dinner with?
la familia to Applebee's.

45. What are you listening to right now?
Yankees vs. White Sox at Chicago, Sabathia taking a seat after 100 pitches. score 7-4 Yanks.

46. What is your favorite color?
RRRRREDDDDD

47: Favorite Band?
many many bands but I just saw Green Day in concert so let's crank that ish up.

48: Favorite Beer?
No beer for me thanks.

49: Favorite Comfort Food?
Ice Cream.

50: Favorite way to relax?
I'd say sleep but I usually dream f'd up ish like the night before I dreamt Andy the bellman was a murderer who casually confessed to me over a slice of pizza & I was trying to get his gf out of the studio she was hiding out in. We were in Brooklyn & that neighborhood looked more boarded up than it does in real life.
Oh yeah, relax... um facebook games? Yoville, mostly. I am bank on that game.



Itchy as hell on my right leg, got bit by mosquitos last night while I was out on the balcony looking at the moon.

Green Day

Taken from a facebook note. I did one with the Beatles already but I thought I'd do one in honor of the GD concert we went to Tuesday night. Link goes to the posted album.

My Life According to Green Day

RULES: Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to a bunch of people including me. You can't use the band I used. Try not to repeat a song title. It's a lot harder than you think! Re-post as "My Life According to (BAND NAME)"

Pick Your Artist:
Green Day

1. Are you a male or female?
She

2. Describe yourself:
Basket Case

3. How do you feel:
Minority

4. Describe where you currently live:
Jesus of Suburbia

5. If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
Boulevard of Broken Dreams

6. Your favorite form of transportation:
Hitchin' A Ride

7. Your best friends:
Armatage Shanks

8. Your favorite color is:
Green Day :oP

9. What's the weather like:
Brain Stew

10. Favorite time of day:
Geek Stink Breath

11. If your life was a TV show, what would it be called:
Bab's Uvula Who?

12. What is life to you:
Walking Contradiction

13. Your current relationship:
Longview

14. Looking for:
Westbound Sign

15. Wouldn’t mind:
When I Come Around

16. Your fear:
Jaded

17. What is the best advice you have to give:
No Pride

18. If you could change your name, you would change it to:
American Idiot

19. Thought for the Day:
Before the Lobotomy

20. How I would like to die:
Welcome to Paradise

21. My motto:
Good Riddance


When we got home past 1am, before I went to bed I found a note from my Stephanie written in her sloppy 6 year old writing "I love you." I guess she missed us. She's made of awesome. :o)

Distracted

Giant said I seemed distant lately but truthfully I've just been distracted. I have a few things weighing heavily on my mind. At the top of the list is the countdown to the end of my unemployment checks. Yes, I have sadly used most of the allowable weeks in a given year. Suffice it to say, the dwindling bank account has got me nervous. Don't get me wrong, all I ever do is plan for rainy days and a sudden apocalypse (on a macroscopic level) but still, a steady paycheck affords a certain kind of relief and at least an hour of extra sleep every night.

I was going through the stack of bills here and I've managed to write one check finishing off yet another debt. That's 2 down. I started to pay online my DL which has been reinstated again due to deferment expiration but Junior here wouldn't connect so now I must check tomorrow if the scheduled payment did go through before I received the error page. I must remember later to use the family computer downstairs. I just realized how foolish I was to pay something online on a laptop with a frakkin Trojan. Idiota! And sometime this week I need to go to the bank and get a certified check. Polish off some other debt I owe Rutgers. It's funny for a law firm who will "continue to actively persue" the debt payment, this sure was the first letter I received. Btw, you spell it p-u-r-s-u-e. Whoever did that makes law clerks or interns seem careless. Considering I held such a position, unpaid, for a year that irks me some.

Somewhere along the line I know I took a wrong step and managed to land myself in a life I never hoped for. I have become complacent and lazy and content with being unremarkable. That irks me a whole lot. I'm neither aiming to be some superstar or much sought after something or other nor anything grand like that. But not to sound arrogant [seriously as I'm way down the list of most arrogant people], I am better than this. By this I mean the defeated, omg what am I gonna do now attitude.

I had a late start today but I did manage to do a few things. I made my bed, first and foremost. It's showroom quality, just needs another pillow ;-). Put a load of laundry in, finished with those. Will do towels tomorrow since my sister needs to do laundry, she needs it for work tomorrow. I also cleaned the bathroom downstairs, scrubbed toilet, floor et al, made dinner too. And I worked out a bit, got grossly sweaty. TMI sorry. Looking fwd to watching the Yankees play with the sibs. Tomorrow will be a Green Day :o)

note: post meant for 072709.

Sheets a mess

Last night I dreamt about living in a fantastic modern but cozy house. It was all linear and minimalistic without feeling sterile with warm colors like chocolate brown and neutrals. However next door was a rather old, like South American ruins old, monument of sorts but in actually was a burial ground. It was my impression it was an open columbarium, vines growing all over and around statues, ledges, columns, all in a stone grey with a sort of gritty feel to it. There was some man there, garbed in robes perhaps, and he was informing me of some plans to renovate the area. I was not happy with it, spouting respect and tradition and leaving things as they were and I stomped off back to my little house. It was my mother's monument I was more concerned about really, and everyone knows I hate change unless absolutely necessary. I like order and schedules and tradition and loyalty.
Sometimes I think I'd have been better off at a time when carrying a sword would've been completely acceptable because at least people shook hands back then to show trust. The world is plagued by posers, fakes, selfish backstabbers and borders don't necessarily need to be protected because the cancer is already growing within.

And now that I've cheered myself up, have a glorious Monday evening! Isn't today the 40th anniversary of the Apollo moon landing?

Hair Rant

I cut my hair this past Friday. I just had enough of the tangles and how hot it was and just the amount of shampoo I freaking use. I wash my hair every day. It air dries. I tie it up. End of story. But I must've just lost my mind and I told the lady just make it short and snazzy. Or was it sassy? Fuck it if I remember. All I know is my hair is the shortest it's been in 10 years and now I'm fretting over how to maintain it. Because not only that I say short, but layer the damn thing too. I've got that piece-y layered thing going which requires actually spending time on my hair to make it presentable to the world. AmyG said blowouts are key to making it look fabulous but you know me and patience with hair. It's practically non existent. But I got my expensive pink dildo looking flatiron that I paid good money for. And a hairdryer that I've had since I was 19 [yes, that's how often I have used it. not.]. Hopefully those two and a dash of patience and creativity will help me upkeep this hair. Worth the money I paid for it, which wasn't much as I am painfully low on funds. And trust me, compared to what other women spend on hair care at salons I spent a drop in the big bucket. Most likely my desire to not look like a complete loser of a woman will spur the fastidious upkeep. Vanity sucks.

Random fact. My mother had cut my hair for most of my life, she was a hairdresser once upon a time. This past haircut marks the 4th time I've been to a salon. It marks the 3rd time I've paid for it. The first time was for prom and my mother paid for it. Ultimately though it was apparent that I would not tolerate sitting in a chair getting "done up" for some dance so I asked the nice man to make it a cute bob. I didn't cut my hair again for 4 years after that. The last 3 times it's been the same lady at the salon at the mall. Her name is Ana and I recognized her by her smell. It sounds gross, I know, but that's how I recognized her. Be it the perfume or deoderant or what not. I looked carefully at her face this time. The first time I was just glad to cut the hair and get the weight off. The second time was my mother's first year anniversary. This last time was done with the mantra a change will do you good.

I think the next job I get, I'll have people call me by my supposed "first" name.

Still looking for a new and better point and shoot camera. Also have my eye on a fossil weekender bag. F me if I knew as clearly I'm not going anywhere til all this flying benefits stuff realigns itself at CoAir.

I tried to follow some chick on Twitter but apparently I was already blocked by her. I'm not sure why as I don't know her either. Maybe I wasn't a big enough fan of SVU for her tastes.

Lastly...Lately I've been idly, lazily, gloriously been fleetingly plagued with ideas of how different life would be if I were famous. Or talented. Or disgustingly rich. I'm not sure why.

Random facts - music

Hearing ABC by the Jackson 5 always cheers me up.

Yellow Submarine by the Beatles was my favorite Beatles song when I was a kid, because I thought a whole town was in the song.

I listen to JPop music, especially from animes. In particular, Inuyasha music done by Do As Infinity. I can mimic it in Japanese but have no idea what they're saying.

I haven't changed any music tastes much in the past 10 years, mainly because most of the new music out is crap. IMHO anyway. I will listen to new music by old favorites though.

There are 4 languages of music in my iPod. In frequency order: English, Japanese, Spanish, and one song in Italian (con te partiro).

When it's rainy or gloomy out, I play mostly Green Day, Foo Fighters, etc genre.

In concert with ticket stubs & not RUfests: Cherry Poppin' Daddies, Spice Girls, Eric Clapton, The Eagles, Madonna, and No Doubt (twice). Up next Green Day.

That is all, for now.

ABCs

A - Age: 29
B - Bed size: full size, red/white sheets
C - Chore you hate: dusting
D - Dog's name: no puppy, Shimmy only
E - Essential start your day item: iPhone
F - Favorite color: red
G - Gold or Silver or platinum: silver
H - Height: 5'1" barely
I - Instruments you play: so sad I'm not talented
J - Job title: unemployed, have been student assistant, student safety staff/supervisor, peer counselor, family worker, front desk agent, assistant front office manager.
K - Kids: none yet but they're all named
L - Living arrangements: family
M - Mom's name: Millet
N - Nicknames: PS, Soc, Soco are the acceptable ones. I'll take Perp too
O - Overnight hospital stay other than your birth: never have & I foresee the only times will be the birth of my children
P - Pet Peeve: when I try to quote something & people correct me with the added you can't remember anything. I bet you'll remember when I punch you in the face. Yes, I have anger management issues.
Q - Quote from a movie: "You look like a girl!" "I am a girl halfwit!" "Yes, but today you look it!" - Ever After
T - Time you wake up: around 8am, on my own even if I've only been asleep for 2 hrs
U- Underwear: Victoria's Secret
V - Vegetable you dislike: brussel sprouts
W - Ways you run late: waking up late or my own defeatist attitude
X - X-rays you've had: full upper body including neck
Y - Yummy food you make: because of Giada I make good Italian, because of Rachel Ray I can throw stuff together & have it come out decent.
Z - Zoo favorite: tigers or monkeys

Feast of the Piggies 2009

I'm not inspired to blog tonight but I will muddle through just for timeline preservation. Pffft, I say that like I haven't skipped months blogging!

FotP'09 was yesterday. Lots of people came, some familiar faces even though I still don't know their names. It's Tim's friends mostly since it is her little get together idea. She knows alot of people and about their lives, it's kind of funny how she doesn't notice things at home. Anyway, Tay came really early to stake our claim on the public grill. Next time we really should reserve a spot so we can drink booze although being drunk in the sun didn't seem like a good idea. Groups of people came and stuck with each other mostly. I was most happy to see Ondraya came with child lol. We had a nice chat, dispersed with 2 year old outbursts from the playground. And I got a little surprise as well seeing Seema, even briefly. She apparently lives around the park area and she saw my picture wall post on facebook and walked on over. LoL, love it. Anyhoot, Jiselle is soooo cute. OMG, I love her deep baby voice and her wide open smile. She got the big old Patrick balloon that Dawn got to mark the Open Groove of the park where we were all hanging. It was a nice chill day with food, some friends, and my family. It was nice and breezy too. There were games that people played like tug o'war, some volleyball, threw a football around, and I think they had some wiffle ball game going on. And someone bought water balloons. My niece and her cousins came too so that was nice. Tay and Kuya Uge also invited some work friends, I'm glad my father had people to talk too.

A gathering is never without drama of course. Filipinos will always have food and it's just lame that you'd put a person in a tough spot because you can't open your own damn mouth and ask where the food is. Or better yet, open up the wrapped up foil, lift up the plates turned upside down because 100% chance there is food there. Idiot. Also, kind of peeved that Bibs didn't even answer a single text regarding the picnic. I can understand missing a text but missing 4 of them is just idk.

I can't wait to see Jiselle again! Oh and Ondraya too. She alright. lol

I dreamt all sorts of sick shit last night. First I dropped a baby or was it a puppy into the water, by accident! We were on one of those boats like from the movie Maverick with Mel Gibson, the poker and I was crossing to the next level and it just fell out of my hands. The part was I was leaning on the rails at the docks or something and the baby crawled over to the front bow of the boat. The boat started to pull away and the baby was going to fall into the water. My oldest brother ran up along the pier to catch the boat to snatch the baby back up which he did. Of course what had spiked the fear in me was pointless as the "baby" was a lifelike wind up doll. Geez, I'm going to bed.

I'm not sure why but I suddenly want the doll Daddy gave me when I turned 12. I broke the arm by accident and she had a blue gingham dress on, that much I remember. I thought the doll was too childish for me but he was already experiencing the early onset of Alzheimer's... there is never enough fucking time. Maybe eternity will offer the opportunity and a refuge.

Rethinking

Tuesday night we all went to see The Hangover, which was ridiculously funny. Just thought I'd mention it. Re-tard, hysterical.

Sooo...Giant said he'd come over but yet here I am wide awake with no hope of restful sleep. I found this earlier from a fanfic by scullyseviltwin. It was the opening quote for "Lonely People are Always Up in the Middle of the Night." And he hated himself and he hated her, too, for the ruin they'd made of each other. - Dennis Lehane, The Given Day. I hope he's fast asleep because he did go out drinking the night before, and had a bit too much I may add. At least he had a good time playing football.

Twitter may be real time social news but on some level, it's just another version of AIM except everyone else can read your convo. Really, and I can't say tweets with a straight face. I was trying to sort through the 100+ tweets that had scrolled up by while I was preparing dinner. o_O for real.

Speaking of dinner, I'm going to congratulate myself for not punching any walls or unsuspecting persons while the anger burned through my head. I gave money to the 2 turds to get the rest of the ingredients I needed to finish dinner. I specifically said I needed them for dinner & wrote out a list [even though I did forget to put cherry tomatoes on the list]. I knew they were going to Party City, presumably to pick up supplies for the weekend. And I also knew they were picking up turd 1's cam from Best Buy from repair. Yeah, they came back TWO hours later. TWO!!!! TWO. I texted them & had Kuya text them to which they rudely replied go ahead and eat. WTF, apparently I wasn't fucking clear enough when I said I was making dinner. As I need the motherfucking shit on the list that I gave you. I made everyone else wait because I'm such a fucking anal retentive asshole that I have to "present" dinner because the family that eats together and all that bullshit! I ended up having to just douse the pasta with the jar Ragu which we fortunately had and the meat wasn't dried out because I did put it back in the oven so it wouldn't get cold. No salad with pine nuts, garbanzos, shredded sharp cheddar. No pasta with tomatoes, basil, and fresh mozzarella. Nevermind that they actually didn't get the fresh mozzerella & opted for some block mozzeralla which if I wanted that kind I would've put it on the damn list, now wouldn't I?

Well the turds got home and I was already cleaning up the dishes with vigor & splendor! Huzzah, here we go cleaning doing something physical because I seriously have stopped punching walls because my knuckles were not happy about that shit. And turd 2's all like here's the salad to which suprisingly I answered in an even tone of please put it in the fridge; we already [fucking] ate. And so she starts getting her plate & I had half a mind to not point out the sauce she could pour on her warm, not hot!, pasta was in the JAR on the counter. Yep, she was gonna eat that shit plain. God help me I hope the meat was dry when they got it. Fuck, ok so maybe I should have a swear jar but at least I didn't fucking punch anything. I'm counting this as a victory. Damn, I feel better. Still can't sleep but at least I feel better.

Oh yeah, the turds got a new camera too. The Sony W290 which is a nice camera but I don't remember why I didn't want that particular model. Anyway, back to yelling at the Yankees currently down FOUR against the Angels at LA. Sure is a joy watching Jeter slide though... ^_^ oh! ohio gozai masda! or whatever. lol

need to write = fail!

Epic fail on my part. Instead of picking up the small weights I have
to work on arm definition, I decided on Nutella & to troll the
Internet for a decent link to a full ep of l&o UK version. Basically
sit my ass down & be lazy. Well 10 min in, I get an alert from Avira
saying Junior's been compromised by Trojans. I shut down obviously &
now am methodically moving down the line with the various seek &
destroy program at my disposal. So now, regretting the Nutella, no l&o
and Trojan for Jr. WTF. Jillian Michaels said if you're going for a
snack ask yourself why & you'll be able to put down that unhealthy
snack. She's obviously never had nutella. Joaquin asked if I was
watching porn when Jr for the Trojans which was true. I didn't account
for my motivation for watching the UK version and that was to oogle
Jamie Bamber in a cop roll. Lesson learned world wide web, nerd porn
is still porn. Damn.

Choked myself awake this morning, no joke. Heard myself making some
grating sound from my throat and nose, woke up from the noise.
Fantastic way to begin a day! Then I had a story bouncing around in my
head all day, lines and such. But now Jr is out of commission so that
settles that.

I'm gonna hit my weights. I can at least tire myself out. I did do
laundry so hurrah for small victories. I'm currently losing the war tho.

Fight 'em til you can't.

"just be yourself... unless you suck."
Sent from my iPhone.

Neighbors

This apt complex has a high turnover rate. The so called cult who
lived in the corner townhouse moved out over the holiday weekend
according to Tay. He said early Monday morning they were hauling all
thief stuff out. With them gone there are parking spaces free in the
lot again. We called them a cult because they had 4-5 cars parked in
the lot and they had alot of visitors. Those who visited took up "our"
spots which resulted in us having to park on the side lot. Their
visitors always left after midnight so it was a constant peeve to see
an empty spot in front of the house in the morning.

Twitter is going to slowly destroy me. Just about two months left in
unemployment. Cancermount sent me a vacation/personal days check that
I supposedly never cashed. Still haven't called bank regarding some
monies that showed up suddenly. And lastly, should I take another
crack at writing stories?

Feast of the Piggies coming up this weekend.

"just be yourself... unless you suck."
Sent from my iPhone.

Surprise!

Well Joaquin called last night, told me he was out for a walk. Alarmed
because his neighborhood isn't exactly ideal for evening walks, I had
started to exclaim in response. He just told me to come downstairs and
open the door. That made me all kinds of happy. I was really glad to
see him & the good night's sleep I was going to get.

We didn't do much today on account of it being too humid to move
around. My $55 tower fan/air purifier/ionizer is earning its keep. I
did make dinner this evening with whatever we had lying around the
house. The baked chicken was good, nothing like random spices, s&p and
evoo in 375• oven for an hour for dinner. Simple and no fuss
mac&cheese and a can of corn for sides. The squash was pretty bland
but Giant suggested using nutmeg, cinnamon and brown sugar on it next
time. I wanted to venture out & get ice cream but no one wanted to
come with so I scratched that idea. Did nothing else but digest dinner
& watch L&O. Joaquin also noticed that my arms are getting some
definition. Maybe another month I can increase the weights. Really
really happy he's here. Also happy that I've fed family with enough
leftovers for lunch tomorrow for under $10 total. Boo-yah!

Stay cool and hopefully some rain. I don't care that it's been raining
quite alot in the past few weeks! And some food for thought. What
happened to all the news regarding swine flu?! And what about the
Iranian election?!

"just be yourself... unless you suck."
Sent from my iPhone.

Everything in 3s

Earlier today reports has come in that Farrah Fawcett had passed away
after a long battle with cancer. She had actually done a TV special
regarding her fight which aired no more than 3-4 weeks ago. Farrah had
spurred on many fantasies from that infamous picture with the
feathered hair.

Then at the end of the work day, scattered reports came in that
Michael Jackson was rushed to the hospital, 911 called & that he was
not breathing. He was revived & taken to UCLA Univ Hospital. A few
minutes later more reports that he was in a coma. But generally, most
of the news sites weren't sure. Then 2 minutes later, the TV news were
reporting that MJ had passed away. To say it's shocking news is an
understatement. We all remember how scary Thriller was when we were
little kids. And I sure as hell stayed up late to watch the premiere
of the Scream video on MTV. Admittedly there is a part of me that says
with life comes death and he's one less child molester that walks this
earth.

Regardless, rest in peace. And people should really start making their
bucket lists. Bucket list = things to do before you kick the bucket.
Amy & I were talking about it not more than 2 hours before MJ's death
hit the news.

Better make best use of our time here. Does that make sense?

"just be yourself... unless you suck."
Sent from my iPhone.

Drunk dialing?

So around 4am, I was reaching for my phone half asleep because it was
ringing. I looked through one eye and put it back under the pillow
sparing half a thought to figure out which country that was calling
from. An hour later, I get another one this time from Orange County,
CA. I didn't realize at the time the out of country number was India &
the same number had called 2x. These are the times I'm glad I don't
have voicemail because it is so much simpler. Of course, I'm going to
need to set it up eventually....

Kuya Uge off, Dawn worked for 4 hours, Tay's jaw is still bothering
him & had Neni phoned in a prescription for him at Walgreen's, and Tim
had an x-ray done today as per her doc visit this past Saturday. She
had called in sick for 3 days last week. Hopefully I remember to check
up on her x-ray. Joaquin really dislikes living there and a part of me
wants to call myself a failure for not holding up my half of having a
working part of a relationship. Like living together because it's just
not enough.

And the LOL moment of the day, hkn actually left me a wall post
regarding a check they will reissue because apparently I had one left
over there and I had never cashed it?! Really? Wow, I suppose it's
really difficult in this day and age to let someone know they have a
check still uncashed. It's funny because the farce of a termination
letter they express sent me after I asked WTF stated that they had no
way to reach me when I supposedly went MIA. Fucking laughable and this
is the one instance where I will say that I'm glad life is finite
because imagine of assholes lived forever. Anyhoo, no way to reach me
despite 2 known personal email addresses and the almighty facebook
[which funnily enough continue to get wall posts regarding happy
holidays & have a great birthday]. Whatever, I can go on some Sunday.

On more important news, Amy G & I were talking about lack of contact
from our other friends and maybe we are only acutely aware of it since
we have ridiculous amounts of free time. And it's true, these things
have their cycles and when we both pick up with our friends again
it'll be like old times. Coincidentally, the day I was lamenting about
missing old friends, one of the sisters from other misters called and
one texted. Maybe they were using the Force! lol

Post 3.0 update: I swear my phone is working slower and I swear that
even during his liver transplant Steve Jobs was dreaming of ways to
discretely screw over the masses forcing us to spend dough on the
newer, faster iPhone 3Gs. Also my power indicator doesn't seem to
display how much I have left. Like now, it just died even though last
I looked 4 min ago I had 3/4 left. Fuuuck. And today's minor mindfuck,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWMlCMtogVw&NR=1 . Of course Sony has
an answer for that.

Still haven't gotten a haircut, it's just obnoxious now. My ears itch
like the dickens but it could be these earphones. And...

RIP Ed McMahon. I guess you're hi-o in Heaven.

"just be yourself... unless you suck."

Heinous

I've mentioned before that I love saying that word.

So, my little world news... I've given Twitter another chance. Not
sure if that was a bright idea as it is like facebook, frighteningly
addictive. The novelty of it should wear off soon enough. My account
pretty much sat tweetless for a year. Did some spring cleaning on
Junior. Freed up almost 800mb off the harddrive so that was
productive. Just need to figure out which media files are going to go
into the external drive. Hopefully I can at least get past 10gb free.

Internal debate: should I get the Sony DSC H20?! If I cash in my
points from the bank, use Dawn's discount & trade with someone the $50
Macy's gift card for moolah I could get the camera for $100. I rally
should make hat call to Reservation Rewards; I think they award Visa
gift cards for points you've collected. I may have another $50 in
there. There's also that spare change I've been throwing into a small
container. We will see. Soon hopefully because we're going to see No
Doubt again but this time we're in the crappy section.

I'll mention how wrong the majority of people are in this country. The
separation of Jon & Kate Gosselin are a bigger deal than that farce of
a Democratic vote in Iran and all the ensuing deaths after it. My only
source of comfort is humans will eventually become extinct. Or maybe
we'll get our priorities straight.

Hope those kids don't hate each other when they're all grown up.
Personally I'd rather be financially struggling and juggling and be
with my entire family than live in a 14 room house sitting on 23 acres
pulling in about $3mil annually. But that's just me, I'm easy to
please. Family, food, shelter, and a good cellphone! LoL

Lastly I got really pissed at my own boobs the other day.

"just be yourself... unless you suck."
Sent from my iPhone.

I'm moving to Seattle

No I'm kidding! But it's another Saturday of nothing but overcast &
rain rain rain. AGav said the reason Starbucks was created in Seattle
was so they could keep their collective asses awake or something to
that effect. But geez if it isn't hard enough to work out, to have it
rain is downright insidious.

However I did do light weights today and 8 min on the stepper; slowly
but surely. I think I'm seeing some definition on my arms. I washed
some dishes, played some online games, and washed some dishes. Made a
salad with avocados & peaches with French mix ready made salad. Had a
relatively good dinner with Carribbean lime chicken and the salad.
Although I did have a 2 scoop banana split with chocolate topping.

Twitter is evil btw. I spent a good chunk of time adding to my follow
list & reading others of interest. Wil Wheaton is moderately funny.
Alexis & Alyson Denisof had a kid, never knew.

Heard on SVU, quit kicking yourself. Olivia answers easy to say, hard
to do. The Marine replies takes practice. I forget what I'm capable
of, what I want to do to help people and that we're all on borrowed
time.

"just be yourself... unless you suck."
Sent from my iPhone.

iPhone 3.0 update

Well it's here, the long awaited software update to the iPhone. I'd be
lying if I said I hadn't been excited. The update was available as of
yesterday from Apple's website, late in the day for me. Also took a
handful of tries before it actually took the upgrade. The first error
stating something about their servers... And their were a few tweets
and forum shouts about getting bricked so... Let's all keep in mind
that AT&T hates it's customers. Read on.

One of the new features is. Being able to type texts & emails in
landscape mode. Honestly I'm kind of used to the portrait typing, my
fingers aren't overextending. So 50/50 on that. Really the only thing
that bugs me about typing is this DLO cover I've selected to protect
my phone. The new "spotlight search" is pretty neat as it looks for
the key words in search field across your whole phone. Another new
feature is the voice memos so you can do a bit of recording onto your
phone. If I could just point out that my Nokia candy bar phone did
that already, um 5 years ago... Regardless you all can get rid of that
Jott app. And of course being able to copy/cut/paste while your
composing text is pretty rad. AND now you can delete individual text
messages without off-ing the whole convo thread! I have really missed
being able to do that.

There's a slew of other features which I'm not sure I'm all that
interested in. Improved stock stuff, calender, notes sync, stereo
Bluetooth, improved parental controls, Safari with autofill and you
can buy/download movies, shows and audiobooks onto your iPhone. Cha-
ching Steve-o. No video on this update, just on the new handset but
since I never used that feature even on my old phones I'm not too hung
up on it.

Now for the 2 annoyances. Tethering is a no go so far despite the
codes to support it. Undoubtedly AT&T is looking for some price
gouging. To be fair I wasn't really going to be using that option but
it had to be given a voice y'know? ALSO mms is where?!?! According to
press release it will available later this summer. Wtb... I'll give it
a half dart for now. I'd love to send/receive pictures again without
having to resort to facebook mobile uploading. Not everyone has a
smartphone afterall. And seriously mms is pretty bloody basic!

If you are on AT&T and you are just in time for your contract renewal
then by all means, get the iPhone 3Gs. $299 gets you the 32gb model
with video capture/edit, onboard compass and a load of other neat
features like "find my iPhone" should you be a MobileMe customer who's
prone to losing things. If it's not your time to renew, delayed
gratification is a sweet sweet thing. Plus it builds character!
Besides iPhone is rumored to extend its subsidization to Verizon.

Oooh the plot thickens!

"just be yourself... unless you suck."
Sent from my iPhone.

Gorgeous sleep

I slept from 12:15am to about 8:20am last night, Sunday night (but
technically Monday night). Hell must've frozen over because that felt
gooood. Although on the train back from lunch with Tita Zeny at
Herald's Square today I actually was asleep for 2 stops.

I still need to blog about No Doubt. Prob do it on BrokenF.

"just be yourself... unless you suck."
Sent from my iPhone.

And in my hour of darkness...

there is still a light that shines on me.

Today marks the second year of my mother's passing. I didn't sleep,
even less than usual with my toothbrush still wet from when I brushed
my teeth prior to going to bed. I was up past 3am, I was up at 7. I
left my door purposefully ajar so that when Tay got up he'd wake me up
too. Tay, Tim and I were on our way to Rosehill a little past 8am. We
went through McD's drive thru since we were starving, although I'm not
used to eating that early. But we did have bfast with my mom. We were
there for quite some time while Kuya Uge and Dawn went to pick up
Uncle John & Tita Zeny. Kuya Ugo met up with them later at Rosehill.
Tim took a nap and we all met up for Filipino buffet in Colonia. After
their mass consumption, I ate a modest one plate and turon, we all
parted ways. Tim went to the library to study then off to the gym. The
2 of them went to drop off the old folks back at their home. Kuya Ugo
dropped me and the old man back at home. I meant to get a haircut
since I got one last year same day. However a much needed but too
brief a nap derailed my plans yet again. Seriously I have a foot of
hair to donate again, at least! I want to go short, I'm sick of
dealing with it. Plus I own a really good versatile flat iron that I
underuse. But goodness, my hair is the only thing I'm vain with.

Anyway when Kuya and Dawn got home, we put the 2000 Devils
championship video on loan from LT while I watched HGTV. Tim's not
home yet.

I felt like crying earlier but I held it back. Probably not a good
idea but I'm going to keep it together. I just need a catalyst and I
wrote ages ago that my biggest enemy is my own discouragement. I dare
to be different and there will be no trying.

Freedom never did come cheap.

"just be yourself... unless you suck."
Sent from my iPhone.

Happy 29th to Me!

Well I started off early enough with the best of intentions. However when Dra called, that pretty much derailed my scheduled plans for the day. Basically I didn't have time to get a haircut since I spent close to 2 hours catching up with her. I hung up close to noon then I made a mad scramble to eat breakfast and of course, log into YoVille. If that game were real, I'd be bank lol! Anyway, then I cleaned up the kitchen some to prepare for cooking. I went back upstairs to clean up my room and check who had left me bday messages on facebook. I know, I'm so addicted to being online. I should try to find a job where I can sit in front of the internet all day. At any rate, then I thought I had taken a fairly quick shower which was closer to 1/2 an hour. My hair is really clean I guess. I picked up the clothes I wore and left on the floor from my Tuesday night out with Amy.

After that, Tay went to pick up Dawn from work and right before he left he said Kuya Ugo and family were coming over. I texted him and he said 5pm ETA but I told him not to rush. Anyway, I cleaned up the living room, Febreezed, and then tackled the dining room. I started to boil water for the pasta and then when Dawn walked in 1o min later, she took over making dinner. I went back to making the place presentable and then I went to make the salmon. I had defrosted the salmon this past Monday when Tay was gone to South Jersey for his dentist appointment.

We made good time. Unbroken spaghetti was made. Salmon was baked. Tay & Dawn ran out to get KFC and Kuya plus kids minus Erika arrived 10min after Tim got home around 5:35. She was nice enough to get salad and garlic bread but we didn't need more than one bag of ready made salad. We started to eat as soon as Kuya Uge walked through the door; who had thought we were going out to Famous Dave's for dinner. One, I'm not a big fan of that place because it makes me diarrhea and two I'm all about saving money for obvious reasons. We came, we saw, and we did not conquer all that food. The salad was half touched and the salmon remained baked in the oven. The ice cream cake did get devoured with big slices for everyone. And they gave me a birthday card that plays the Law & Order theme song which I thought was hysterical. All in all, a good birthday.

I hope to make it a good year. I got 35 shoutouts on facebook.

CitiField

So this past Friday, Joaquin scored free tickets to the Mets game for that evening vs the Marlins. They were upper deck, section 535. Let me tell you, I'm not a Mets fan but that stadium is beautiful. Sure I had that little inkling that I'm sure would be more magnified had I been in MSG watching the Rangers NOT playing against the Devils but it's a really nice stadium. We didn't explore it very much but the Jackie Robinson Rotunda was something to look at and the Dunkin' Donuts coffee wafting through the air were definite pluses. Joaquin got the tickets from a coworker who's wife didn't want to go anymore since there was a chance of rain.

During the game, which we were incredibly late for, it seemed apparent that everyone around us were all either from the same neighborhood or were all part of a very large family/friends network. It seemed like everyone knew each other and kids were running around all over the place. And as I watched this 14 year old boy look after his polite [they would say excuse me to each other while passing through the aisle] younger brothers while his parents sat on either end of their children, I realized that this is where cops, firemen, and other city workers come from. It had that close neighborhood feel and not that I'd ever be a Mets fan but the the atmosphere there had a more familial feel to it than Yankee Stadium. Of course I haven't been to the new Yankee Stadium or the house that greed built. We shall see for ourselves at some point which is better.

AND after the game, Joaquin took me the first ever Jollibee's in the East Coast. I think so anyway lol. That burger was freaking good and of course, a buko pandan bubble tea is always welcome. Naturally it was full of Filipinos and hopefully with proven success, that location would be able to expand and offer more items on the menu.

On other news, Cavaliers got eliminated by the Magic so that kind of sucked for Cleveland, whose Indians lost against the Yankees as well that Saturday night. And I was crazy uncomfortable and sick and dehydrated due to the visiting aunt Flo. That bitch. We had planned to go to Central Park Zoo but Joaquin went to a baseball scrimmage with some coworkers MAD early [he was at the park 7am so hell no I was not up for that] and got back shortly after I woke up around 11am. Then he zonked out for 4 or so hours while I patiently waited and read my online obsession with fanfics and napped myself because hey I don't sleep well without him anyway. Then we got all showered and ordered Chinese to settle in and watch the Cavs game. And sadly, since we're both old fuddy duddies we were out around 1am anyway despite all the sleep earlier that day.

Sunday, didn't go to Rosehill. The 2 year anniversary is in one week. But before that will be my last 20 birthday. GOD, I'm 29. I'm going to kill myself if I waste another year. I'll take the 27th year sucked understatement of my life, first year without my mother. The 28th year I spent trying to not picture everyone I knew in a coffin or my oppressive need to just fucking give up but we'll not talk about that right now. So I'm hoping my 29th year is better.

I'm going to watch SVU again. Sweet sweet Mariska.... lol.

another day, another non-accomplishment

for accomplishments today, it didn't get further than waking up at around 8am. *Waking* up, not getting up mind you. At any rate, I didn't get much done today. What I did do is nothing to make note of but I will anyway because I said I'd start blogging again.

I did eat half the bag of Doritos Cool Ranch. I know, yuck. I organized that 2 containers I have that contain electronics stuff which meant I rewound the wires & actually tied them with twisty ties and put earphones in their cases if they had one. Reshuffled the pamphlets and warranties etc. I put the printer into the top shelf of the closet as it's been on the floor between the bed and window so I kept having to negotiate my footing when I wanted to open my windows. I pulled out the electric blanket from under my bed & put that in the closet shelf too. Then I proceeded to watch obnoxious amounts of television and tinker around on the internet. I also did manage to take all the Rolling Stone magazines (my subscription) that Tim had collected from the bathrooms and dumped into my room while I was away at Joaquin's this past weekend and yet none of the Time magazines (Tim's subscription) have been relocated to her room. If I ever examine that it'd be on the other blog. Lastly because I cleaned up all my electronics, I found the charger for my Creative Zen which would make a nice jogging partner; if only the little Steve Jobs on my shoulder will stop yapping on about the shuffle v3.0.

What I need to do is laundry, clean under my bed because of dust and son of dust now live there. I sorely need to do some juggling between accounts for payments and such. I'm $1200 away from owing only one organization money. 3 checks and I only have one financial headache from my past to deal with. Seriously, they should tell college kids not to get a bloody credit card. Or 2. And yes I keep telling myself I will work out because it would be unbelievably nice to not feel like a tub of lard. And no I don't have some body dismorphic or whatever the frak bs chicks buy into these days. I just meant running up the stairs from the basement to my room to catch the intro to SVU would be nice if I wasn't out of breath when I get to my room. FYI, I love hearing that guy say "heinous," don't ask me why.

Fog

I just started posting again. Yesterday was my first post on broken since January, the Inauguration in fact. I haven't been around, mentally anyway. I've been in that dark place people talk about all the time, with their therapists anyway. I have been talking to no one but the other voices in my head (for lack of better words) which obviously wasn't all that productive. I just kept going in circles and relying on emotions that were far too screwed up to be reliable.

I'm going to get a pet. Idk fish or something that I can take care of. When grapegum was all wonky, I gave her a cat. I'm pretty sure that cat wants to kill me though, or at least scratch out my ankles haha.

I'd been feeling stiff all over, sore all over, hollow on the inside. I sometimes think that I had to get there to get to wherever I'm going to end up. It kind of hurts to type right now which is really messed up. I used to be able to type at ridiculous speeds, furiously finishing my PM turnover reports so I could catch the last bus back home. People used to be in awe at how fast I had typed but now my fingers are cramping and this is nothing compared to then. Hopefully I get my speed back.

I need to get moving. Giant said that the pain from exercising is the weakness leaking out. He makes me laugh but sometimes I think he's not sure how to encourage me from not jumping over the ledge headfirst. He tries at least.

One left

Well this is it, almost it anyway. Next week is the series finale of
the one of the greatest shows on television. Battlestar Galactica will
have a two hour end. Hopefully they'll tie up the ends nicely and show
something positive. like how hope lives on and that no matter what we
should all work together because as far as we know we have one life to
live.

And what is Kara Thrace? An angel that walks among us? Or the
harbinger of death?

Oh yeah and the kid is turning six this Sunday.

Frak yeah!

"just be yourself... unless you suck."
Sent from my iPhone.

Trankaso?

I'm frakkin sick, just wonderful.

My head hurts and when I cough it feels like my brain is expanding but
my skull isn't. Then it feels like it collapsed into a dense sore ball
of tissue. Frakker it sucks...

I've done absolutely nothing except ask Dawn to withdraw the rent
money for me.

Now about smartphones...one can get their day started without leaving
their bed. For example, before crawling out of bed I would've already
read my email, the news, any new facebook notifications, the weather,
and see if anyone interesting is on aim. On the down side, there is no
tactile feedback and all those days I spent making my planner seems so
silly. Then again I haven't figured out how to get this phone to tell
me what I should be doing for the day. Maybe I'm just used to windows
mobile...

Sent from my iPhone.

Kalamansi

Last night I went to sleep all determined to be less of a layabout and
actually get some things done. As usual that didn't work out and in
fact woke up feeling quite ill. I woke up with a really dry throat and
the stirrings of a nasty headache. I ended up being very much
unproductive. Haven't been all that hungry either since my throat
hurts... I took a Tylenol and drank the kalamansi Kuya Uge made.

Meanwhile, Pres. Obama is addressing congress this evening. Discussing
the grim state of the country's finances and I suppose his plan to
alleviate our doomsday state. Joaquin is also doing a double, having
picked up the overnight shift this evening and continuing on through
to 4pm tomorrow.

Hopefully I feel better tomorrow. Fight 'em til we can't.

Sent from my iPhone.

Mobile blogging

I think this was easier when I has physical keys and not this virtual
keyboard. Hope this works!

Oh yeah, that's an email signature below. Quote is by Joss Whedon.

"just be yourself... unless you suck."

Serenity

25th post. I used to joke I was having a quarter life crisis, on the assumption I'll live to be 100 years old.

Finally got to watch Serenity and I did enjoy it. It's like the TV show but with a movie budget so things look grittier without actually looking gritty. Neat-o. Also noticed I'm typing really slow these days. My fingers used to fly on this stuff. I'm just so out of practice.

My love affair with iPS continues. Obviously it's missing some features, like a zoom for taking photos or video recording for that matter. But regardless it's nice. I'm not sure it records audio either, I doubt it. But the included headphones have a built in microphone so if you're listening to music you can pick up a call without taking the headphones off.

Today I got up around 10am and actually cleaned the 1/2 bath's and the main bath's sinks and toilets. So I was a bit productive. Also on the news, Kuya Ugo canceled Pepe's eye surgery to remove the sty. Apparently she may have scratched it right off. They'll have to follow up on that.

There's no place I can be, since I found Serenity. You can't take the sky from me.

Slumdog

Well, went out with Amy last night to see Slumdog Millionaire. It was a really good movie, with a Bollywood ending of course. I told her it was apropos that we saw an Indian movie with the paid for by Indians birthday movie tickets. And that folks is the last freebie I ever got from that hotel. Amen sister. We had a whole movie date thing going haha. My review of the movie will be this, it's a great movie, realistic. Go see it.

After that we went to Bourbon St, of course, since they have happy hour til 8pm and the heavily made Hurricanes are only $5. Amy mentioned that she stopped by the hotel on her way to the theater & told a couple of people what our plans were. So to our great surprise, Tony and Rishii showed up during their extended lunch breaks. They went back to work when Cynthia started texting them about their whereabouts. It was good seeing them again. Hadn't seen them in 4 months, good to catch up. I don't miss my job at all. I miss the people and the steady paycheck but other than that... no. They paid for our drinks like the gentlemen they are. Did I mention I love going to Bourbon St? I woke up not so fresh and I most def woke up around 4am feeling squiggly in a suspiciously shaky room. I went downstairs, dropped the Browns off at the pool, took a Tylenol, drank a bottle of water and went back to sleep. Suprisingly, I was up at 9:37am. My father always said I have Ma's constitution regarding alcohol. Hahaha...

Amy also mentioned that Mel was fired from BBQ for some lame ass trumped up charges. Apparently upper management found out he had borrowed $50 for a busboy & even though he paid the busboy right back, they frown upon that kind of behavior. Thus he was dismissed. At any rate, Mel had an interview today and he already has a new job lined up. And Amy has an interview on Friday so they're well on their way to stable land. At some point, I will have to secure another job, any job. But today I did take down the Christmas tree. Tomorrow I plan to attack the bathrooms.

Sunday best

Ok, I said I'd blog every day but honestly when you're unemployed and at home all day there's not a whole to report to make a blog entry interesting.

At any rate, aside from the Devils defeating the Rangers 3-0 this evening @ Prudential, I'm doing real well acclimating to my new phone. Bibi once joked ages ago that I'd get a new phone and I was all settled into it a day later while most people were still trying to figure out how to get their contact list back. But after MONTHS of deliberation and wishy washy annoyances, I decided to just get a fun phone. Not one that was practical or overly productive. And after some cajoling [did I use that right?] from Joaquin, he got me my new phone. I'm not ashamed to say I was a little overcome with emotion looking at him buying me electronics. It's just a teeny bit better than buying jewelry. lol!

And dagnamit, a 16gb black iPhone is frakkin' awesome!! I love it. I had to restrain myself at the store from squealing because despite the fact I love smartphones and all the things they can do, the iPhone/iPods are popular for very good proven consumer reasons. Who doesn't love cover flow? Who doesn't love the direct to phone downloadable apps?! I have an app to help me lose weight and so far I've been honest on it in terms of what I've consumed. One of my better Sundays... I so love all in one gifts! It's good spending money, you just give a gift that'll last for the next 2 years and I sure as hell don't expect anything else for that long and more. The only thing that remains is to get an insurance plan for it. I should probably do that tomorrow.

Tomorrow, I meet up with Amy Gav to see Slumdog Millionaire. Using up the last thing I got from the Paramount, birthday movie tickets. Now I go back to syncing up music to my phone. Ciao!

Devils vs. Capitals

It was myself, Tim, Kuya Uge, Kuya Ugo and his family plus his father in law. 5-2 Devils lose. According to Dawn, the game was jinxed because she couldn't go.

She had work until 10pm. Tay stayed behind and picked her up. He's not much into hockey. I suspect because he thinks it's too cold, despite the fact you're not actually sitting on ice. The old man wanted to watch LeBron play tomorrow at MSG with the Knicks but the cheapest tickets are $50 in the same place we sat last time. He said he'll pass. He wanted better seats. lol

Tomorrow, we live another day.

Superbowl Sunday

I only managed 20 posts for the month of January, missing 11 posts. Poop. I had meant for this to be a daily journal. We shall try for Feb then.

Superbowl Sunday, hoorah. Not that I get football all that much, strategy seems to be something I need help in grasping. Regardless, Steelers defeated the Cardinals this evening and I am disappointed. The last 2 or so minutes of that game was colon clenching, literally. Haha! From the house consensus, Cards defense was weak especially so in the last minutes. They had a 3 point lead, all they had to do was defend. Joaquin said that sucks because the current Cards will probably never make it to the Superbowl again. But yay for Steelers and their 6th Superbowl. Plus Stapleton, RU alumni, scored himself a championship ring. Joaquin had ordered the Superbowl Papa John's special, 2 large pies, 30 wings, 2 2liter bottles of soda. We'll be eating that until tomorrow.

Otherwise a regular Sunday. Mom's still dead, despite checking every week to see if she'd risen at the cemetery. I am SO joking... Tim posted all these old family pictures so that's nice, all the family faceboo-ers are commenting on the pics. hmm... see ya tomorrow.

Friday 30th

I'm almost done with the planner hacking. I just have to draw the boxes around the day & date. I'll definitely have a section with phone #s of family & certain friends. Plus probably service #s like my bank helpline etc etc. I should probably put down my long term goals there, so I remember them. Hopefully I remember to look at the list too.

I didn't watch BSG tonight because Dawn was at work. But she would've watched it without me so I'm not sure why I waited... Tomorrow is the last day of January & I still haven't gotten a haircut. Not much done today, CSI:NY'd my head off again. I emailed Todd the bartender & asked if he was still trying to be one of NY's finest but alas, he replied and said he decided against it. Which may be just as well since Bloomberg announced NYC's "doomsday" plan basically cutting $1 billion in city funds with a loss of 23K jobs and increased taxes. All done to save the small business and homeowners. Meanwhile, the MTA are still in debate whether to raise the fare or not to "improve" service.

At least Joaquin is here this weekend. We must prepare for Superbowl Sunday! hahaha Go Cards!

Planner Hacking

The planner hacking continues. [see plannerhack.com] I'm up to August now. Quick debrief of today.
Finished folding my laundry that was done yesterday. Showered. Watched 4 episodes of CSI:NY before that. When Kuya Uge and Dawn got home, we headed out to Wegman's for dinner and some grocery shopping. Wegman's was blowing up mylar balloons for the superbowl. Football shaped balloons, some with the Cardinals on them. Then back home, watched NCIS, and called Joaquin at 8pm. After that, watched the end of the Devils vs. Bruins game [Devils won] and went back to my room to watch Burn Notice.
Now, doing Rock Legends battles onto level 44. There's not much to do after level 50 except winning fame points. Am reading about being NYPD Detective, federal agent, and yet another online education/degree source. Everest University Online. Going to draw some more lines in my planner.
I need to MOVE. I forget what days are passing.